October is nationally recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and Plumas Rural Services invites the community to come together for its Purple Light Campaign. Organizers say that shining a purple light shows support for survivors, brings hope to those experiencing abuse and raises awareness about the impact of domestic violence. “Together, we can create a safer, more caring community where everyone feels seen, valued and supported,” said PRS.
Plumas County businesses may contact the PRS Domestic Violence Services program for a purple light while supplies last.
The DVS program is also hosting two October events: a guided painting event and a floral basket creation event. DVS will also be holding a winter boot and sock drive for Plumas County children. New and gently used children’s boots and new children’s winter socks can be donated at any Plumas Bank branch in Plumas County. Monetary donations can also be made and will be combined with the proceeds from the floral basket sales at Feather River Co-op to purchase boots and socks.
Domestic violence awareness
Domestic violence, or intimate partner violence, occurs when a person is physically, emotionally, psychologically and/or verbally aggressed upon by their intimate partner, said PRS: “It is when one partner exerts their power and control over the other.” The term “intimate partner” refers to both current and former spouses and dating partners, and parents of a child in common.
Domestic violence affects people of all genders, sexual orientations, ages, religions, races and ethnicities, economic classes and educational backgrounds.
Red flags that may indicate an abusive relationship include a partner who
- Isolates someone from friends and family
- Shows extreme jealousy of others or makes accusations of infidelity
- Restricts access to needed medical or mental health services or employment
- Withholds, controls or monitors finances
- Demeans, puts down, shames and/or degrades the other partner
- Insults or calls names
- Boasts superiority and makes the other partner feel inferior
- Forces and pressures for unwanted sex
- Causes fear for emotional or physical safety
- Endangers children
- Threatens self-harm or harm to the other partner, family, friends and pets if the other partner leaves or tries to leave
- Threatens to take children
- Demonstrates anger/intimidation, mood swings, shouting, hitting wall, throwing/kicking, silent treatment
- Searches through personal belongings like a purse, phone or car
- Gaslights, attempts to make other partner feel “crazy” with statements like “you’re crazy” or “you’re being irrational”
- Asserts control over the other partner’s life, i.e., around clothing, relationships, social media, phone
Domestic violence can include many different types of abuse:
- Physical, such as pushing, shoving, spitting, hitting/slapping, hair pulling, strangulation/choking
- Emotional/psychological, such as intimidation, coercion, degrading language, manipulation, public humiliation, threats of physical harm to self/others/pets, gaslighting, threats of using immigration status
- Financial/economic, such as control of finances, limiting/withholding access to money, keeping financial secrets or hidden accounts, requiring disclosure of income/spending, interference with employment
- Verbal, such as any abusive language used to disparage, embarrass, harass or threaten; threats to hurt or kill the victim, family, friends or pets; threats to destroy property or reputation; stating that the victim is unattractive or lucky to have the abuser; yelling/screaming; silent treatment
- Sexual, such as using force, coercion, guilt or manipulation to engage in intimacy; making the victim have sex with others or have unwanted sexual experiences; exploiting a victim who cannot make an informed decision about sexual activity due to being asleep, intoxicated, drugged, disabled, too young, too old or dependent upon or afraid of the perpetrator; nonconsensual sexual contact through unwanted penetration or touching
Abuse in relationships often follows what is known as a cycle of violence, said PRS. During the tension-building phase, the abuser may be argumentative and critical, yell or use angry gestures. Victims may feel like something bad is about to happen or like they are walking on eggshells.
The violence phase is sometimes known as the explosion phase where a major act of violence occurs, such as a physical or sexual attack, threats to harm and verbal abuse.
After the explosion, in the honeymoon phase, the abuser feels sorry, acts apologetic and loving, and may say things like “I’ll never do it again,” “I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you” or “I promise I’ll change/get help.” The abuser may shower the victim with gifts or act like the person the victim first fell in love with. Things get better for a little while, but the honeymoon doesn’t last. The tension starts all over again, and the cycle continues.
“Everyone deserves to be in a healthy, respectful, trusting relationship with their partner,” said PRS. “If any of the above has you concerned about your relationship, contact our program with questions or for support.”
Domestic violence services
Plumas Rural Services provides the Domestic Violence Services program for Plumas County, as well as an emergency safe shelter serving both Plumas and Sierra counties. Organizers say the program aims to empower those affected by domestic violence compassionately through support, advocacy, education, encouragement and outreach. Program staff foster safety, strength, healing and independence in an effort to prevent future violence and inspire lasting change for adults, youth and the community.
PRS-DVS offers a host of services to support any person that identifies as a victim of domestic violence within an intimate partner relationship regardless of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender or religious beliefs:
- Safety planning
- Legal advocacy
- Transportation
- Case management
- Emergency food and clothing
- Temporary emergency housing
- Paraprofessional counseling
Safety planning helps survivors create a plan for them and their family members to remain physically and emotionally safe. Legal advocacy provides assistance with filing restraining and emergency custody/visitation orders; staff can help submit paperwork and provide court accompaniment. Case managers help participants with obtaining housing, benefits, legal services, counseling and employment. They help with obtaining important records, accompany participants at medical and nonmedical appointments, assist with goal setting and more.
Survivors can select which services they would find helpful. They can access DVS services whether or not they intend to stay in their relationship, and they do not have to file a report to receive services. Services are free and confidential, and can be provided anonymously.
PRS-DVS can be reached during normal business hours, Monday through Friday 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., at 530-283-5675 or at 711 E. Main St. in Quincy. After hours, people can text a domestic violence advocate at 530-999-2126 or call the 24-hour crisis hotline at 833-723-2968. More information about the PRS-DVS program can be found online.
PRS encourages community members seeking a way to support the program to visit the Amazon wishlist; organizers say direct donations also provide critical assistance to the program.
